Many people in recovery cope with a variety of issues that stem from when they were growing up. Often, a person with addiction issues has trauma in their past. They also often have trouble forming relationships with others. Usually, these relationship problems are more complex than simply damage from their addiction. People in recovery often have attachment issues that they have been trying to cope with their entire lives. The cause of these issues can usually be traced back to their childhood.
If you have trouble with maintaining intimate relationships with your family or friends, you’re not alone. Many people feel insecure, anxious, or afraid when they are forming new relationships. This can cause problems with your wellbeing throughout life. We all need to be able to trust others and care about them openly, but for people with attachment issues, it may feel unsafe. You may even want to avoid serious friendships and relationships altogether so that you don’t get hurt.
The reasons behind these types of reactions to relationships usually have to do with an untreated attachment disorder that took place early in life. Attachment disorder is a general term that describes people who have trouble connecting with others.
Attachment stems all the way back to early childhood, when you relied on others to meet your needs. As a baby or toddler, you cried or acted out when you needed something. Whether it is water, a diaper change, or a hug, children look to their caretakers to provide for these needs. Unfortunately, many young children don’t get these needs met, or have to wait a long time for them to be met. It can be traumatic for a child to cry because they’re hungry, and have to wait hours before actually being fed.
Effects of Attachment Disorders
If your needs weren’t met or were ignored when you were younger, you probably have some baggage to go along with that experience, even if you don’t remember. This can cause insecurity, fear of abandonment, and codependency as you try to make up for that fear of being ignored.
You may feel like you need constant attention or reassurance that you are loved. Or, you may scorn close relationships altogether to avoid the hurt and disappointment they can bring.
Attachment issues can run deep, and you may not be aware of them at all. The ways you cope with them, however, as an adult cause you more harm than good. As adults, we need to be able to love and be loved, to trust and be trusted. If you feel as if you are “better off alone” you will miss out on these needs. It may be the reason you ended up using drugs and alcohol to avoid your feelings in the first place.
Recovering From Attachment Issues
People can recovery from attachment issues if they’re willing to put in some effort. Many people in recovery from addiction are able to work through their pain and trauma. Trust and love take time, but it is worth the struggle to regain control of your life and begin healing.
Relationships are important in recovery because they help you feel less alone. You’ll find that some of the best friendships you’ve ever had are with people who are also in recovery.
Learning to trust is a process that you’ll learn over time. But it’s worth every second to understand and feel like you’re loved, respected, and never alone!
Getting Help for Addiction
At Design for Change, located in Lancaster, California, we can help you begin to embrace change and heal from your addiction as well as your attachment issues. We know no two people have the same experiences and we will work with you to create a recovery plan. Our treatment center is a compassionate, safe place where professio-nals will help you reclaim your life and heal from the past, one day at a time. Please call us at 855-977-1372 to learn more about your treatment options.