Our beliefs shape our world and our reality. When we are under false beliefs, we will have a harder time making changes in our lives.
You believe that you can fix other people.
We can’t fix anyone. It’s just that simple. We can’t make anyone feel anything they don’t want to feel- we really can’t make anyone feel anything at all. We do not have the power to change the past, set up the future, or force the present on anyone in life. What we do have the power to do is work on ourselves. We see this in the serenity prayer. We understand that we have to accept what we cannot change, have the courage to change what we can, and the wisdom to know the difference between the two. We cannot change other people, and we have to accept that. We can change ourselves. It takes courage to stop trying to change others and change ourselves. For most people, this is a profound realization in their recovery. Many of us live under the belief that we could change and would change if only others would change the things that they are doing. While we believe this puts us in control, this actually takes all of our power away. Our focus on others is a way we avoid focusing on ourselves. Assigning blame is easier than finding the courage to make real change.
You believe that you are in control of everything, everyone, all the time.
We are in control of very little in our lives. Our thoughts, feelings, choices, actions, and behaviors- everything having to do with us are choices we are in control of. Everything else is out of our personal jurisdiction. People who are in recovery from drug and alcohol addiction often have a hard time with this. That’s because, for many people, drug and alcohol addiction is a method of control. When life, external and internal, feels out of control, drug addiction can feel like control. We can control how we feel, how we think, and more. Unfortunately, it doesn’t last long. Addiction is defined by the use of drugs and alcohol getting out of control. Still, when we get sober and take the drugs and alcohol out of the equation, we continue to expect the ability to control the world as well as the people in it, all the time. We don’t like it when things feel out of control, and we stress ourselves to no end to try and stay in control. It is usually an eye-opener to consider how much is out of our control all the time. For example, the earth is spinning every second of the day. Things are happening in outer space we don’t even know about. All over the world, millions of people are going about their lives in ways we haven’t clue about. Yet, we put so much energy and focus on trying to control the world around us. Once we can let go and go with the flow, we realize we have much more control where it matters- like our personal lives.
Design For Change is helping change lives one step at a time, one day at a time. Our inspired treatment programs offer a refuge for addicts in recovery, helping them discover the freedom and hope that recovery can provide them. If you are struggling with drug and alcohol addiction, you are not alone, and you are not a failure. You’re a winner the minute you ask for help. Act now. Change your life.